Finding Love for the Despised "Member" of the Family

Today while I was running I was thinking about self-improvement and I returned again to the thought that I really need to work on my hatred and negativity towards a certain family member. It's amazing because this has only been a part of my life for five months, but in that short time, I have developed a toxic realtionship. Ok, I won't keep you wondering any longer. Here it is:



Ok, I am being a bit melodramatic, but seriously, this car has tormented me!! I hate it on so many levels. It conned me into purchasing it in the first place by showing off the fancy automatic doors and ample trunk space. But, pretty much as soon as the ink on the signatures on the title in my name was dry, the problems began.

Let me gave you the details:
1. CUPHOLDERS: What is the point in having cupholders you can't use while the car is in motion? I'm not kidding, it indicates in the owner's manual(which I reviewed after my first Super Big Gulp in the car flew out of the center console cupholder when I hit the gas) that the center console cupholders are not to be used when the car is in motion. Please tell me the point of that!

2. SUSPENSION: I guess that's the problem. The closest ride that I can compare my van to is the shuttle bus that I take to and from the parking garage at work. It's equally loud and bumpy. Nothing smooth or luxurious about this ride.

3. "POWER DOORS": This seemed like such a good idea, but oh it's so flawed. They never operate properly, the kids constantly tug on them thinking them will operate properly and recently, due to a malfuction, Abigail was way too close to being pinned in the door.I had to push on the door with all my might to stop it from squishing her. So much for the safety motion sensors.

4. DEMONIC POSSESSION: I discovered most of these problems within two weeks of owning the car. This prompted me to put the car up for sale. I had one interested party. I turned down their low ball offer. Two days later the transmission completely died. Any guesses on the repair cost on that one? (I figure those of you who have heard me vent about this before stopped reading this post long ago and so for those of you left who don't know the answer to that question-it's 3K-choke, gag). What better time to sell a car than right after you've put a brand new transmission in, right? No worries for the new owner about transmission problems! I listed my Sienna and the Odyssey at the same time, figuring I'd sell which ever one would sell first and crossing my fingers it would be the later. The Sienna sold in 48 hours.

So......I guess I'm stuck with this. Better learn to deal with it, right? Name calling is so juvenile, but I indulge myself frequently when it comes to this:
-"piece of crap"
-"stupid piece of crap"
-"clunker"
-"my nemesis"
-"no good piece of crap"
-"waste of money"
-"axis of evil in my life"
....the list goes on. I hardly flinched when James started calling it a "stupid piece of crap"-that really should go against all I believe in, but I allowed it. I even started driving it to work and parking it in the same area of the garage where one of the doctor's cars was recently stolen. (Apparently, noone wants the van. Brilliant idea nonetheless.) Yesterday, after a particularily ugly battle between myslef and the van that involved the seat belt getting ripped after being caught in the power door, and the ensuing name-calling, kicking and not very adult-like yelling, James consoled me by saying, "It's ok Mom, don't worry, maybe someday Dad can buy you a Nissan!" In my effort to come to terms with this and move to a better place, I have offically decided to name the van, "Lemon". I mean it in the most cynically affectionate way. Kindof like how Jack calls Liz "Lemon" on 30 Rock. I think a little good humor about it will do some good. And some healing.
Seriously, venting is wonderfully theraputic..........